Just a Tiny Now, Please? Thanks – Prose by Jim Meirose

Just a Tiny Now, Please? Thanks.

A formulation from out of the air. Get up and go. Get it all down, get it down, get it right.

Yes.

The first one. The second one. Incidental other ones. Plus old LaLa McDune—what a catch! Yes. Guess what, gang, they said yes.

Okay. Make a list and go get.

Tissues.

Bananas

Refrigerator.

Paper, pen.

Clothing for all. Together with it go there get ready three, two one.

Okay. Ess!

Hurry, please hurry, terrible things are happening here!

Is someone there? If anyone’s there, please go call the police department, so these horrors get stopped immediately. This cannot be allowed to go on any further, s’ someone, please, but, hey; look at that; check out those bananas; call the police department, so, by that tissue box, by those bananas, hey, those bananas do look pretty good! This can be stopped immediately, this cannot, by that tissue box, be allowed by those bananas, ‘n by that tissue box to go on any further.

Eh! Move over there just a tiny, will you?

Thanks.

Okay. Now, by those fine bananas, ‘nd that big tissue box, ‘n ‘gain by those bananas, go no further; yap! Say, hand me a banana, would you please? Yip. That big one there, please. Yope. This thing must be brought to a peaceful end; thanks. That’s a big bundle. S’ s’ someone’s by that tissue box now, hey; I sort of feel like I weigh too much, too. Please call the police department; you just got to punch in three numbers, you know? Yes, by those bananas, right there by that tissue box, I need one, ‘cause I got the sniffles pretty bad, so—so this must all stop this instant immediately, yes; there by those bananas, that tissue box, there—they’re really going right by those bananas, yes, like it’s nothing, but, this cannot be allowed. No, not there by those bananas. Not now in this season go right on past that tissue box, hey you there, yes; stop, look!

Careful you’re dragging a bit here, pick things up a bit here, so. Eh?

Thanks.

Okay—so; are there any tissues left in that box—yah that one by those bananas; good, please pass me a couple, please, no more, no less, nor any further, this—by that tissue box, and by those bananas there, it seems like every other person by that tissue box whatchamacallit right there, must be brought right by those bananas on their way in—yes those that I pass on the street seeming to—by that tissue box, hey, holy Moses, that’s quite a good likeness of the Buddha you got there. Yes, really! Set there so artfully by those bananas, s’ peacefully, by that tissue box’s back end, seems to be coming down with a bad cold, eh, so. B’ eh, be a dear; pass me a couple more tissues, would you? After all, all we want is for our hearts to keep on beating, our lungs to keep breathing, and our souls to go on. We all yes we all. By God, ever feel like life’s all mashed together squirrely jus’ like this? Don’t you? When the officers arrive they will find a sign on the refrigerator door. To detail the horrors. Thanks.

Eh! A little bit faster from here to the end, please?

Thanks.

Okay; but—someone’s allergies are quite bad this season, ‘specially by those bananas—my God please do something; please call, on that tel’ by that tissue box, which police department doesn’t matter you agree on which banana it matters just that this gets stopped right now, ‘n right there, by that tissue box, immediately; by those bananas by, that tissue box this cannot be b’, by those bananas plus that tissue box—you know, like LaLa’s got that whistleback down—my car’s incredibly green with pollen every single morning one more. Nothing can be allowed or not by those bananas by that tissue box to go on any further since they’re by no leap o’ any brain, sentient; sentient as that Bustiana de Vesuviosse guy, if you can ‘member back all that far. Hey, this banana is really good—and by those bananas right there I swear, I got to hose it down really hard to get all the greenish pukeslime off my hood flat like that tissue box by those bananas there. You know, that same Bustiana guy ‘at said he’d platter down your head jus’ like old Salome did that John di Baptiste, or whomever more supposed holymen she said she would. But; this thing must still be brought to, by those bananas, some end ‘cause it’s really gross by that tissue box, and stinks to high heaven too, so; my question; who’s the artist? You don’t say; wow! I bet it cost a bundle, yep. Yep. A bundle. So. Where’d you get it? By those bananas, by that tissue box, pray as hard as possible this comes to a peaceful end. Wow. When? Where?

Bring it down slow now. Then, go. Please?

Thanks.

But, oh, God, these damned bananas; hey listen, you know, I got a bust of Jesus Christ done in much the same style as that one, too. Do you ever sort of feel like you weigh too much? Even after trying and trying everything to lose? By that tissue box, by that bunch of bananas, yes, terribly terrible ‘nd ‘erribl’-too; even my dog is sneezing like hell ‘bout that bastard. But I still think I’ll have another, okay? One of those bananas; there, by that tissue box, by those bananas, okay? Sure, after the officers arrive maybe I’ll sign up for allergy shots, but, you know, by that tissue box nyet by those bananas nyet nyet by that tissue box ‘et by those bananas, they will find a sign by that tissue box, by those bananas hey who’s got the time for things like that these days, eh? Pass me that bright yellow beauty there, while you’re at it, okay? Yah by that tissue box on the refrigerator there, detailing the horrors by those bananas the horrors by that tissue box the horrors done by those bananas right there stated plain taped to that solid steel door. The horrors; say, the sniffles are really going around this season; yes, the horrors. The horrors. How ‘bout you pass the whole box over this way, hey?

Thanks.

Hurry, please hurry, terrible things are still happening here!

Stop.

Thank every one as they leave.

Take it all apart. But first, uh, hey; there’s just one banana left. By the tissue box, there.

Okay, so, ah. What the hell?

Next time buy a few more of those. They’re great.

Thanks.

Jim Meirose’s short work has appeared in numerous venues. His novels include “Sunday Dinner with Father Dwyer”(Optional Books), “Understanding Franklin Thompson”(JEF), “Le Overgivers au Club de la Résurrection”(Mannequin Haus), and “No and Maybe – Maybe and No”(Pski’s Porch). Info: www.jimmeirose.com Twitter: @jwmeirose

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