An old quarantine
My mother’s knives are sharper than mineand before I know it, I have drawn one line of pain pausing before it bleeds
I tamp down my cries as I open drawers, Band-aids, Dettol bottles
I tip the bloodied onions into the quiet din of her house
now what did you drop you were always clumsy like your father
In March, I fled out the teeth of countries closing their maws
Larger bird forced back into the nest beak clean of memory
feathers bereft of the barbs that help zip up trauma
you waited for government orders to be home with me
And then it is not the dreaded fever but another one that
boxes her joints forces her to need me
I would rather crawl across the house than have you lift me
her eye creases are filled with dried salt our life is an island and
a sea of other people is rushing away in lockdown
what if I fall when you lift me I don’t see how you have the strength
One evening when our street is rustling with a new neglect
I promise to make her tomato soup like we once drank on a train together
I crush my bruises into new tomatoes tear coriander away from its roots
The old cooker sniffles and sighs without ever sounding steam
did you never learn how to use one it was always so hard to teach you
And then, when I am trying to bring her to our table, I lift her from behind
My body now stiff as a frame My mother a painting held inside
wait don’t oh am I walking by myself now?
A shock of laughter and then something familiar in the air like affection
We drink our blood-red dinners without striking stones this time
Remembering how each carriage is coupled to the other with chains
But how the train always rocks the night gently as if it were a cradle.
Suchi Govindarajan is a writer, poet, and photographer who currently lives in Bangalore, India. She’s the author of three picture-books for children (Pratham Books, India). Her work has appeared in publications
like Cordite Poetry Review, perhappened magazine, Usawa Literary Review, and Himal Southasian. It’s also been included in two anthologies. Poetry is her first love; fiction is her newest. Twitter: @suchiswriting
Banner Art: “Folded Petals” detail from a visual poem by Robert Frede Kenter (c) 2021 Twitter: @frede_kenter
IceFloe Press 